


Why Dia Kurosawa should never be trusted to buy candy

by Chiko152



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Comedy, Crack, F/F, Innuendo, No Sex, diamari if u wanna see it that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24886561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiko152/pseuds/Chiko152
Summary: Dia just wants to buy her little sister a chocolate bar.Mari has other plans.
Relationships: Kurosawa Dia & Matsuura Kanan & Ohara Mari
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Why Dia Kurosawa should never be trusted to buy candy

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably never write anything like this again. Sometimes you just have a dumb idea you have to put into reality though.

It had started when Kanan suggested a shopping trip. Having little better to do during the school break, Mari decided to join her, with Dia being dragged along as well.

“H-Hey, while you’re there can you please get me a Cowgirl bar?” Ruby asked, showing Dia a picture of the packaging on her phone.

Dia had some knowledge about Cowgirl bars. Hanamaru had introduced them to Ruby recently, telling Ruby that she had been eating them for years. After that, Ruby had been begging her sister to buy her more of them.

She had seen her sister and Hanamaru eating them basically daily recently, but she personally wasn’t too enthusiastic about trying one for herself. They were pretty long, about six inches of milk chocolate if she recalled correctly, though she had heard of longer varieties. They were also thick and were definitely not something you could swallow all in one go. Definitely not something she was interested in. Who was she to judge if her little sister liked her chocolate bars nice and thick though?

* * *

Thankfully the store was close enough for her to walk to it. Kanan didn’t have her license and Mari had probably bribed someone for hers. Either way she wouldn’t trust either of them to drive her anywhere at all.

Despite her excellent timekeeping, she managed to arrive late regardless. She personally blamed Mari’s inability to give directions. She had to be doing it on purpose at this point. 

The other two were already at the front of the shop. It was essentially a small department store. Dia wouldn’t say there was anything particularly special about it.

Mari pointed to an invisible watch on her wrist. “You’re late!” She said, almost seeming celebratory.

Kanan stared at Mari, causing Mari to force herself to suppress a giggle. Dia knew that Mari must’ve had something nefarious planned. She had that aura around her, it was hard to put a finger on but Dia had learnt to expect bad things from Mari when she felt it.

Regardless of her fears, she entered the store anyway. Hopefully Kanan could bail her out if anything bad happened.

* * *

Usually the store would be packed, however since they arrived so late the aisles were mostly empty. More inconveniently though, so were most of the shelves. After finding the fresh produce section had none of the things on her shopping list she was unsure of what else to buy for herself. What kind of shop was out of stock of cucumbers though? She needed those!

She turned around and realised that Kanan and Mari were a few aisles behind her. She could see them talking about something in hushed tones. She was too far away to make out what they were saying, but as she began to walk towards them they stopped talking.

“What are you two doing?” Dia asked.

“I-It’s nothing! Actually I have something I need to do at the diving store. See ya!” Kanan said. It was strange, to say the least, to see that the normally composed Kanan seemed so flustered. She ran out of the door of the shop.

Now it was just her and Mari. She knew something was up, so she ran to the furthest aisle. Better safe than sorry.

* * *

She ended up in the meat aisle. As much as she really could go for some meat right now, maybe a nice helping of sausage, she wasn’t planning on buying anything today. She was pretty sure she already had enough sausage at home. Her father had already given her quite a bit before he had to leave for another business trip.

She had been planning on it anyways, so she finally decided to go over to the candy aisle to get Ruby her chocolate bar. Mostly because Dia was a good older sister, but partially just because she would feel like a weirdo leaving a shopping trip empty handed.

The aisles were mostly cleaned out at this point, besides for a few bars that nobody bought. Scanning the aisle, Dia started to try to look for the Cowgirl bar.

After walking all the way down the aisle, she saw it, the last Cowgirl bar. It was easily distinguished by the black packaging and the picture of a girl in a cow outfit on the cover. A girl with absurdly large assets, as it happened. Dia reached out with her arm, trying to grasp the bar. Her fingers wrapped around the shaft of the thick slab of chocolate. She began to pull it towards her before realising that someone else’s hands were also holding onto the bar. As she looked up she could see who was competing with her for the chocolate bar.

Mari Ohara.

* * *

“I didn’t know you were interested in this kind of stuff Mari.” Dia said, as she tightened her grip and attempted to wrest it towards her.

“I could say the same about you, Dia- _ chan _ .” Mari replied, with a wink. As adorable as Mari’s efforts were to butter her up, Dia was someone with strong willpower. She wouldn’t be so easily swayed.

Maybe if Kanan was still here to control the pair, the situation wouldn’t have escalated the way it did. She probably would’ve slapped some sense into them.

Dia pulled the Cowgirl bar up higher, all the way up to her face. She was now grasping the base of the bar with both of her hands. She leaned in to try to intimidate Mari, giving her scariest glare. However the glare had no effect on Mari, despite it scaring away a nearby child who was standing a short distance behind her.

For someone who slacked off so often in practice, Mari was still somehow strong enough for the two to be evenly matched. They entered into a tense stalemate. A cycle of Dia pulling it towards herself, and having it be dragged away from her.

Mari broke the silence by shouting, “Look! Eli Ayase is signing autographs behind you.” 

As deafening as Mari’s shouting can be, and as exciting as the prospect of getting an autograph from a member of μ’s was, it could wait. Her sister’s happiness was more important. Especially as Dia had nothing she could sign. Maybe she could convince her to sign her clothes, or maybe her body. Dia shuddered in excitement at the thought, but it could still wait.

Seeing that Dia was unfazed, Mari began to lean in.

“Maybe I can show you a good time, all you have to do is give me that chocolate bar,” Mari whispered sensually, leaning in until both their faces were almost touching, just separated by the Cowgirl bar.

Mari began to stare at Dia with what she called her ‘Fuck me eyes’. After a solid few seconds of Dia not budging an inch, Mari began to let go of the bar.

Dia loosened her grip after what feels like an eternity. At a breathtaking speed Mari put her hand behind Dia’s head and pulled her in, closing the already short distance that was between them.

Before she knew it their lips were locked. Mari was kissing her. Out of sheer instinct Dia started to kiss back. No other reason at all, it wasn’t like she had dreamed of being kissed for years as a child. The sheer ecstasy of the kiss made everything fade out before Mari pulled away. For a second Dia felt like this was where she belonged, with her lips pressed onto Mari’s.

Then, just as suddenly as the kiss started, it was over. Mari pushed herself away from Dia, her face shifting into its regular energetic grin.

Dia found herself empty handed. She looked down to see if she had dropped the Cowgirl bar only to find it was out of sight. Mari was now a few feet away from her, she was holding the girthy chocolate bar, tenderly caressing it.

“Looks like I’m the WINNER!” Mari said, the last word being spoken in trademark terrible ‘english’.

Dia was just about ready to cry. “You bastard! Ruby wanted to suck on a Cowgirl so hard, and now her dreams are ruined.” She said, rage fraying the edges of her voice. Her hands were balled into fists and she was definitely ready to commit a public felony.

* * *

Mari’s face fell. Seeing the genuine anger from her friend she decided there was only one thing to do.

“I’m sorry,” she said. Mari wasn’t used to one of her pranks causing such an emotional effect, but in retrospect she might’ve gone a bit far this time. The whole false surrender thing might’ve been a bit of a dick move.

It all started one day when Ruby expressed her interest in Cowgirl bars as well as a juicy tidbit of information. Namely that Dia bought them for her. So she planned out a shopping trip with herself, Dia and Kanan. After buying out all the Cowgirl bars in advance, she made sure Dia would be late by giving her bad directions. She also bought out most of the rest of the stock, just so Dia didn’t suspect anything. Then all she had to do was bribe Kanan to leave halfway through and she could set her plan into motion.

It meant she could at least tick “Making out with Dia Kurosawa” off of her bucket list, without any of those inconvenient things like romance cropping up. It was the perfect crime.

Maybe in retrospect there was an easier and less convoluted way to get it done but that didn’t matter.

There was only one thing that she could do.

She handed the Cowgirl back over to Dia, as well as enough money to cover the cost and then some. It wouldn’t be her fault if she found out why Ruby wanted one so badly.

Maybe when she found out why she might want some for herself. It was a good thing that Mari was friends with the CEO then, even though the CEO could be a troublesome person at times, who could milk you for all you were worth.

Kinda like herself, come to think of it, just without the fixation on milking.

* * *

After arriving home Dia handed the Cowgirl over to Ruby.

“Thanks Dia! I knew I could count on you.” Ruby said, positively beaming.

Sometimes Dia couldn’t help but be proud of herself for being such a good responsible older sister. She had kept Ruby away from any harmful influences, and anything that could hurt her innocence. Mostly.

Dia unwrapped the bar for her sister and handed it to her. She walked back into her room. As she was going to throw the plastic wrapper into the trash she noticed some bold text on the back.

“Made with real human milk to stimulate breast growth.”

She might need to try some of this stuff for herself.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. If anyone has any complaints direct them to wahueue. They wanted this.


End file.
